feng shui a la mommy

This is me today...shopping. Everything cute and springy and I was not inspired at all.

Here is the problem, I'm YEARS out of style. I haven't bought much for myself in the last (gasp) 3 years! I am beyond desperate for clothes!!

Anyways, it goes like like this...

Stage 1: 9 months of pregnancy. Big bellah tops and front panel pants.

Stage 2: 1-2 months post baby. Clearly still looking 6 months pregnant thus not ideal shopping time. Drag out maternity clothes. Loathe maternity clothes.

Stage 3: 2-4 months post baby. Live in sweatpants and pj's (tired and fat, who wants to leave the house?)

Stage 4: 1-2 years of losing mummy tummy and discovery channel boobs (don't want to buy fat clothes because skinny is *so* just around the corner. right? *insert sigh*)

Stage 5: starting trying to get pregnant again.

Stage 6: repeat above once you are with child

Even IF you get to your pre-pregnancy size, don't be fooled into thinking you'll just dive into those old Gap jeans again. Oh no. Things are pushed out, shoved down, droopy and saggy.

So anyways, I came home with a cranky toddler and a pair of earrings. argh.

On a brighter note, I did get my new couch today! Why new, you ask? Well, let's just say that my "old", comfy couch was in a desperate state. I don't think it was up for the toddler-doggy-husband challenge and clearly it didn't fair well after our, ummm, 5 moves. Ya.

It has been demoted to a basement couch.

The new couch, while entirely fabulous, has left the living room looking quite sparse.
I moved 'Toys R Us' downstairs and since the end tables and coffee table did nothing for my new look, they had to go too. In doing so, I now have a couch and a TV stand.
My theory in keeping THIS couch looking great is to eliminate the problem...toddler, doggy, husband. No toys, no doggy on the couch, no cable!
Ya, nothing like a sparse, uninviting living room to keep the gang away.

(note: 14 steps is a long way to go for snacks though. Is a beer fridge really THAT tacky?)

Snippets

I'm not in the mood to post today so I'll just go with a few random thoughts.


Yummy alert! Cooked this kick-ass recipe last night.

Garlic Chicken

2 teaspoons of crushed garlic
1/4 cup of olive oil
1/4 of dry bread crumbs
1/4 of grated Parmesan cheese
4 skinless, boneless chicken breasts

Preheat oven to 425F
Warm the garlic and oil to blend the flavors. In separate dish, combine the bread crumbs and parm cheese. Dip the chicken into the oil/garlic mixture, then into the bread crumb mixture. Place in shallow dish.
bake for 30-35 mins.

So yummm. So easy!

Bounce "spring orchard" is the smelliest dryer sheet I've ever come across. I actually feel the need to sniff myself randomly throughout the day.

Diet A&W is my drink of choice. No"diety" taste.

Currently reading "The Tenth Circle" by Jodi Picoult. I picked it up at Costco and after reading 10 pages I was ready to put it down; too many mentions of comic books. Don't let it fool you though! I plugged on and now I'm halfway through it! Very good.

On the topic of books...I read another amazing book a few months back, "Running with Scissors" by Augusten Burroughs. It's the kind of book that you never forget. I won't even tell you anything about it because I want you to be blindsided by its bizarreness. Anyways, the movie is on our dish so I plan on watching it tonight. AFTER...American Idol

My favorite pair of jeans is on the verge of getting a big ole hole in the crotch. Time to go shopping. Vintage is one thing but airy crotch is another.

Tax time. 'nuff said. S-T-R-E-S-S!!!!!!!!!!!

Vaseline slathered feet, covered in socks, makes for super soft footsies.

Okay...that was wierd, I know. Sometimes my brain isn't formatted for a blog. I like to talk randomly and just go with what is on my mind!

~me

Dye me.

There are very few relationships in the world where I can say...'I trust this person with my whole entire being'. Topping my list would be my husband, mom and dad, my best friends & obviously my hair stylist.
Okay, please don't tell me you just thought, 'hair stylist?' Listen, you are completely at this person's mercy to make you look fabulous. Not only fabulous but younger, sexier, skinnier, hipper & gorgeous. That is a tall order! We demand a lot and when our demands aren't delivered...well, there is nothing more devastating than a bad 'do.

So, you see where this is going.

I LOVE my hair appointments. The quiet, the gossip, the head massage, the oooh and gooo over my cute new look. Pamper me, pamper me!
I finally settled in with this gal and we've had a long term relationship for over 2 years now. This girl *gets* my hair, do you know how rare that is!?

So I had my appointment on Tuesday. We did our usually consult and she says, "lets add some blond for summer".

I was thinking that meant, 'let's add a few extra foils for a nice sun-kissed look'.
She was thinking, 'let's bleach the shit outta your hair because grandma-white is so 'in' right now.'

Clearly we were not on the same page.

So she globs the dye on, wraps me up in tin foil and leaves me to process under the dryer.

The reveal. Always so dramatic, even if it's just a root job. I guess I was a little too experimental back in the day because I always hold my breath...towel is off....exhale. It's good!

This time, I don't think I exhaled. I believe my eyes did pop out of my head, my chin no doubt hit the ground and I'm sure I probably gasped.
It was white. White. Okay, to be fair...the top was white, the back was brown. So not cute. Not cute at all.

So, how to handle this situation. So awkward. Do I say I hate it?
Maybe it will look better dry? Ahhh...
Okay, maybe better styled? Nope.
I'll take a peek in the window, natural light, right? Damn.
Time to pay. Panic!
Time to go. Crap! I'm leaving...leaving with my granny dye job and I'm not saying anything.
"Thanks! See you in a few!"
Really, did I say that? No! No! Say you hate it! You looooathe! You aren't leaving the salon until she fixes it! Demand her to fix it!

I left.

Why can't I just say, this looks horrible. I mean, its MY hair. I PAY for the service & I'm not happy. But for some reason I can't spit out the words...

I-Don't-Like-It

Let's just say that meaning behind the comment, "wow, you got your hair done" was not lost upon me. I called my stylist the next day to have her fix it.

In all fairness she was uber cool about the whole thing. She squeezed me in for my fix and put new colors in to tone down the white. She also explained that the dye was new and apparently "self tones" really fast on my hair. Really?
After 2 more rounds of foils, a burning scalp and gobs of leave-in condition I left looking more like me. Crispy, but me.

So I encourage you women of the 2000's...let us unite! Let us stand up and say NO to bad dye jobs and hack job trims for each and everyone of us deserves a gorgeous mane!

okay...well bring a friend who will say it for ya.

Signing off,
Cruella Deville

My brain is full

I cannot seem to get in the groove with this post.
Maybe it's because I'm still knee deep in laundry, my house is a disaster, Katie barfed in Totem this weekend (sadly, we were right beside the popcorn stand), Kip is sick now...

"What do you do?". "I clean up my families barf. I'm a barf cleaner".

So moving on...

I've been brainstorming on career ideas. I know, I have 2 years left of my severance package so why panic? Well, I want to be realistic about reentering the work force. I NEED a plan.

So, option A.
Get a job in the Medical Office field. My mom could train me, I'd have easy hours to work around Katie, good holidays. Safest and most stable of options.

Option B.
Go and do the LPN course and work on the delivery/baby ward. This is my ideal but the cost of school, daycare etc would be WAY more than we could handle. I had actually took my severance package with the airlines to do this but we found out I was pg that same month. Ironic huh?

Option C.
Real Estate. I know....so out in left field! My brother brought this up at dinner last night & thought I'd do really well. Coming from Jeff...that is a BIG compliment! They offer evening/Saturday classes at the college, its expensive up front and no doubt tricky to get going. Plus there is the whole boom bust thing. Still, I think I could pull off.

Option D
Had a dream that I owned a Wedding Pavilion with my girlfriend Amber. I got married at this one and have always thought it would be right up my alley to own and run something similar. So expensive to start and your weekends are shot but still...would be amazing!

These ideas of course depend on WHEN and IF I got pg. The whole maybe baby#2 seems to be leaving me in limbo. I want to start down my career path BEFORE my severance runs out so that IF I have to go to school I have money coming in. BUT. I want to be at home for as long as possible with baby #2.
If we conceived right now, I'd have 9 months to be pg and 1 year & 3 months at home with baby. So IF I did need to go to school, I'd have to do it while baby #2 was under 1. Seriously, I couldn't string a sentence together for an entire year after Katie was born... much less write a paper. The longer it takes to get pg...the longer things are put on hold. I don't want to get into something only to have to drop it while I have a child and all. You know, one thing at a time.

Anyways...that is all my deep thoughts for the day. Boring, I know. Sassy momma coming back at you next post. I had to get all these thoughts out so I'd quit dreaming about placenta's, new houses and bridezillas!!

**I've heard that some of you can't leave comments. Anyone know how to fix this problem? I love comments!**

muah!

Sweat Dots

"If there is a Nicole in class, you need to come and get your daughter right away!"

Everyone scans the class to see which mommy will make the beeline to the "child minding" centre. Today, that mommy would be me.
I can hear Katie before I even open the door.
She is holding onto a volunteers pant leg while the poor lady bounces yet another howling child on her lap. The gal gives me a look that reads, 'shoot me, shoot me now'.

(I do feel for the girl but, it's a little hard to be sympathetic knowing she actually VOUNTEERS to work in the child minding center. Is the $35/month that you save on membership fees really worth the pounding headache you are rewarded with? Really?)

Katie sees me and instantly turns it up a notch. Her face is all blotchy (just like her mamma, we don't cry cute) and there is lovely streak of snot sprawled across her cheek. I flee from the room and go to put my steps and weights away.
Instantly the charm is turned on. Katie is all smiles and shows off for the dozens of ladies putting away their equipment.
Typical Katie.

Aside from that, I actually had a good workout. Step class rocks! It's the closest I've come to reliving my dance days without having to actually sport pink tights and ballet slippers. Somehow I doubt that ballet shoes would look all that dainty on my size 9 1/2 feet (note: my feet grew 1 full size when I was pregnant!!) and I KNOW that pink tights would be a horrific on every level. I'd be all muffin top & rolls!!
The best part of the class is the when the sweat drips from your hair and lands on your shoulders or better yet, the floor. There is nothing more rewarding than seeing a perfectly round sweat dot that your sweaty self made. If you don't work out then I'm sure that you are horrified right now...if you do, I know you are giving me a virtual high five and yelling "ya sista!" at your computer.

Aim for sweat dots.

Well, have fabulous weekend readers! I'm out!

S.O.S

cabin fever
–noun
a state characterized by anxiety, restlessness, and boredom, arising from a prolonged stay in a remote or confined place.

Um, ya. I think momma's gone mad. If CNN features a crazy women running down the freeway, nude, drink in hand, screaming like a banshee...that would be me.

I am a barf and an "Elmo's World" away from blogging via a padded cell.

H-E-L-P! Send Vodka!

soda crackers & ginger ale....again?

9 blankets
4 crib sheets
3 pillows
2 Elmo's
1 Cookie Monster
1 Tiger
a zillion towels
5 loads of laundry


...thats the breakdown of items directly involved in the "barf-o-rama"
part 129, 975 last night.

Yup...Katie is barfy. Again. This blog is turning out to be a marathon of barf stories. Sorry. Welcome to motherhood.

I canceled all our play dates for the week. Had to skip the gym this morning which sucked. I'm really on a roll and hate the thought of missing even one day...might screw up my motivation mojo. Maybe I'll make it to a class tonight...probably not though. See that's the problem with not doing your workouts first thing in the morning, you have a full day to come up with the perfect excuse not to go!

Anyways, Katie is having a nap (see, told you she was sick!) and I should grab one too. Unfortunately its only 10:15 and I am still feeling the effects from my coffee buzz. I'm sure once my eyelids droop she'll be up. Murphy's law.

Well. My mountain of laundry is calling my name. Must attack it & get ready for the next round.

Ding, Ding, Ding!

with a Baa & a Moo & a Cock-a-doodle doo!

Clearly hell has frozen over...my daughter is actually having a nap! Not only that but (!!) she actually ASKED to have a nap! *insert jawdrop here*
We were coming home from gymnastics and she kept saying, "I need nap. I need nap". So I plopped her in bed and she went to sleep!

~~~hallelujah~~~

I never thought I'd see another nap again.


So we made a trek to the zoo this weekend. So fun! The weather was unbelievably gorgeous and most of the animals were out for our viewing pleasure. Katie really got a kick out of the monkeys and the hippo but was mostly interested in the mud puddles. Yup, good thing momma is super smart and brought an extra pair of pants. On the flip side, too bad she didn't think to bring extra socks and shoes...Katie had to sport her slippers for our post-zoo activities.


wah wah wah.

Katie is up. I got a 30 min nap. What a tease.

byyyyyyye!

blog interrupted

*crickets* *crickets*

Okay, smack me. I took a very unexpected technical hiatus.

So, I'm all excited to move into the new computer room, get everything set up and (drum roll please) go to plug in my computer.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ'h
Electrocution over here. Ummm, ya. A huge spark came flying from the outlet and was surely going to burn the house down or in the very least singe off my over-processed hair. So dramatic! Very 4th of July-ish.
Anyways, I fried the on/off thingy. Thus, no 'puter.

sigh.

Then, Kip and Katie got the flu last week. The barfy variety, projectile, in case you need a visual. Next time I sign up for this mommy/wife thing...I'm putting a "I don't do barf" clause in the agreement. Nasty!

Needless to say, I don't have much excitement to report at this time. I shall fill the empty space with Katie.

I'm out.

...could those pictures BE any smaller?